That is the yr of the dragon, the election — and the best-selling marriage memoir, for those who subscribe to the concept that three’s a pattern. First there was “Extra,” Molly Roden Winter’s story of polyamory, which landed on the nonfiction listing in February. Then the romantic tide turned, with two accounts of divorce amicably occupying final week’s No. 7 and No. 9 spots. Tempting because it is likely to be to pit their authors, Leslie Jamison and Lyz Lenz — each moms of their early 40s — towards one another, resist the urge. We’re higher than that.
And so are these chroniclers of uncoupling, acutely aware and in any other case. (“Thanks, Gwyneth Paltrow, for paving the best way,” Lenz mentioned in a telephone interview, “however it’s important to be wealthy to consciously uncouple.”) When Lenz discovered that her ebook “This American Ex-Spouse” shared a publication date with Jamison’s “Splinters,” she reached out instantly. The 2 writers had crossed paths at a ebook occasion for Lenz’s third ebook, “Godland,” and had been pleasant in the best way of people that have, at a while or different, approached social media as a break room for solo laborers. Lenz and Jamison swapped books in June, then exchanged heat messages proper earlier than their books got here out.
“We’re each attempting to upend narratives — or create new ones — in a means that I feel is admittedly resonating with ladies in America,” Lenz mentioned. She went on, “There’s nonetheless this concept in our tradition that marriage is the field you verify off, this unimpeachable union. So many individuals get there and it’s lower than what they thought it could be.”
As Lenz stared down the top of her marriage, she thought she was “going to get to the opposite aspect and be this large unhappy sack.” However, she mentioned, “I wasn’t even that unhappy about it. I’m not unhappy about it in any respect. Why am I hedging?”
Whereas Lenz labored on “This American Ex-Spouse,” she listened to Nora Ephron’s “Heartburn,” narrated by Meryl Streep, 4 occasions. She immersed herself in works by Betty Friedan and Ellen Willis. “I additionally learn three biographies of Princess Diana,” she mentioned. “I keep in mind having this thought: If she may divorce the royals, I can divorce a Midwestern household.”
Why are so many people drawn to books concerning the finish of marriage? “Folks love a large number. They like to rubberneck,” Lenz mentioned. “I needed to provide individuals a ebook that lets them cease apologizing for breaking, falling aside, not with the ability to maintain all of the ropes.” She added, “So many different divorce books on the market are like, Right here’s the way you maintain the ropes. Right here’s the way you double Dutch. I needed the burn-it-down woman to enter the chat and be like, But additionally? You may let go.”
