With George Santos’ expulsion from Congress on Friday, The George Santos Present is unfortunately coming to an finish—or is it simply getting began? Now that the Republican politician is out of workplace, he’ll have a while on his fingers (he’s not due in court docket till, what, subsequent fall?), and quite a lot of people are wondering whether or not—if not outright hoping that—Santos will make a pivot to what in all probability ought to have been his true calling all alongside: a profession in actuality tv. Whereas headlining his personal present can be an interesting proposition, our little drama king would additionally match proper in on any variety of already present actuality franchises. Let’s undergo the probabilities, from least to more than likely.
Survivor
Odds: 100 to 1
There’s actually no probability George Santos would willingly ship himself off to, like, Vanuatu for six weeks. It is a man from Lengthy Island who was laundering cash with a pet-adoption charity. He has a relentless urge for food for petty scams, sure, however on the finish of the day, he’s as gentle as Charmin rest room paper. If Santos ever does find yourself banished to the wilderness, it will likely be as a result of he has been extradited to Brazil.
Bare and Afraid
Odds: 99 to 1
The percentages are lengthy right here for a similar purpose the Survivor odds are. Nonetheless, I do suppose there’s a small probability Santos wouldn’t be against the concept of being fully nude on digital camera.
The Actual Housewives of New York Metropolis
Odds: 25 to 1
The Actual Housewives franchise has by no means earlier than welcomed a male housewife, however possibly Bravo would make an exception to land a white whale like Santos. The New York chapter lately obtained an overhaul, hiring an all-new solid for Season 14, however some say the brand new gals had been missing a sure je ne sais quoi. Might Santos be the lacking piece? It’s laborious to think about him getting together with Jenna Lyons, however we already know he’s nice at bitchy sound bites.
Squid Sport: The Problem
Odds: 20 to 1
Truthfully, Santos is sufficient of a diva that I don’t suppose there’s any approach he’d topic himself to the allegedly Orwellian dwelling circumstances—circumstances that could potentially result in Netflix’s getting sued—of the Squid Sport facsimile. That’s a disgrace as a result of there’s an opportunity Santos would truly assert himself effectively on this setting. I imply, he is aware of easy methods to jostle for energy in a room stuffed with 400 different sociopaths. He was in Congress!
Particular Forces: World’s Hardest Take a look at
Odds: 20 to 1
Look, I’d like to see it. Fox’s World’s Hardest Take a look at basically asks a bunch of pop-culture flunkies to take part in dramatized particular forces coaching, which is crimson meat for the type of aggrieved MAGA sorts who initially propelled Santos to Capitol Hill. (Living proof: Anthony Scaramucci was on the sequence’ first season.) Sadly, World’s Hardest Take a look at permits its contestants to go away the present at any second, with no ramifications in any way. Santos wouldn’t final one hour.
The Circle
Odds: 18 to 1
The Circle is among the most delinquent packages ever conceived, whereby contributors sit in separate residences and talk with each other through a pretend “social community” often called “the Circle,” with the item of changing into its hottest person. There’s ample alternative for the sort of mendacity and assuming of false identities that we all know Santos so excels at, which means he has the potential to be an incredible participant … or a horrible one. Fellow contestants are likely to get suspicious when the lies appear too extravagant (such because the Season 2 participant who claimed to be Lance Bass … despite the fact that she turned out to be Bass’ assistant), and sadly, Santos has by no means been nice at reining it in. And alas, an only-sorta-well-known Netflix present simply doesn’t appear flashy sufficient for his tastes.
RuPaul’s Drag Race
Odds: 15 to 1
It stays unclear whether or not or not Santos has ever performed in drag. The size of his mistruths are so huge and sophisticated—a mythology all to itself—that discovering readability on something is sort of inconceivable. Nonetheless, if Santos does ever come clear about his drag expertise, and if he does the important work of repairing his status after hitting all-time low, I truly can think about him making a cameo look as a visitor decide on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The queer group is remarkably forgiving, and if Santos is allowed to weigh in on the artwork of vogueing, maybe the world will lastly understand his genuine self.
Jewish Matchmaking
Odds: 15 to 1
Santos is neither single nor Jewish, however that’s by no means stopped him earlier than. One of many former congressman’s largest scandals was the results of claiming that his grandparents fled the Holocaust. He later backpedaled, famously saying that he had solely ever professed to be “Jew-ish,” however as of a month in the past, he still hasn’t dropped the Jewish factor totally. As for his husband, who appeared sooner or later out of skinny air when Santos was eulogizing Sen. Dianne Feinstein, he appears liable to vanish simply as shortly. It could be dumb of Santos to go on a relationship present particularly targeted on his Jewish heritage, however once more: That’s by no means stopped him earlier than.
Promoting Sundown
Odds: 12 to 1
As hilarious as it will be for the Oppenheim twins to introduce Santos as their latest realtor—and to be honest, they have been recognized to rent for potential fairly than expertise—it’s much more possible that Santos would make a cameo on the Netflix present as a house-hunting purchaser. Stars like Simu Liu and Saweetie have dropped by on this capability in earlier seasons: It’s a fast strategy to get a bit constructive consideration with out answering any questions, and it will even be an opportunity to rub elbows with the celebrities of the present, which could possibly be interesting to Santos if he occurs to be a Chrishell fan (which, who isn’t)? However then once more, Santos might not wish to be perceived as making extravagant purchases, given his historical past. Then once more as soon as extra, although, he has already indicated that he could not care less what all of you suppose. See you in escrow!
The Masked Singer
Odds: 10 to 1
God, I hope so. Think about being aware about much more shows of Santos’ vocal talent. And might you think about him giving hints about his identification which can be the type of ridiculously ill-conceived lies that solely George Santos himself might give you? Are you able to think about what his masks would seem like? The Masked Singer has been one of the vital anemic fixtures on tv, replete with never-beens like David Archuleta and Chris Daughtry. It’s in determined want of some juice, and I do know the most effective man for the job.
Home of Villains
Odds: 5 to 1
Home of Villains is a type of high-concept actuality TV supergroup experiments the place E! takes a lot of culturally designated basic-cable “villains” (like Omarosa from The Apprentice or Tiffany Pollard from the golden period of VH1) and shoves them collectively in the identical room with a digital camera rolling. Santos clearly matches the invoice completely, however I worry that his affect could be too highly effective. We don’t desire a situation the place Jax from Vanderpump Guidelines is abruptly impressed to run for the Senate, proper?
Love Is Blind
Odds: 5 to 1
I would like this to occur. It’s the proper match. Love Is Blind is, fairly actually, a actuality present constructed across the type of catfish-scented scamming that Santos is the grasp of. Two single folks, stored aside in separate rooms, get to know one another by the sound of their voices alone. They’ll solely lay eyes on one another after they get engaged, an ill-designed check of the idea of romantic soul mates that usually condemns each events to a rhapsodically cursed marriage. Are you able to think about the towering lies Santos might inform on this setting, the place there are not any moral or authorized firewalls—like, you already know, the federal government of the USA—holding him again? When he doesn’t even must put a face to his claims? Lord have mercy.
Watch What Occurs Dwell
Odds: 4 to 1
A WWHL bartender can be the proper approach for Santos to dip his toe into the truth universe. The bartender function is sort of Andy Cohen’s model of the Make-a-Want Basis, in that folks chosen get to be on the present, however they’re not actually on the present; the bartender stands within the nook, sometimes waves to the viewers, and principally playacts being a bartender with out truly having to seem within the scorching seat. May very well be a good way to butter Santos up earlier than attending to some greater asks. (See: Actual Housewives of New York.)
Dancing With the Stars
Odds: 3 to 1
It is a robust chance. Dancing With the Stars has a documented historical past of permitting disgraced public figures a shot at rehabilitating their photographs, with previous contestants together with the likes of Sean Spicer, Paula Deen, and Tom DeLay. It could be a canny transfer for Santos to go on the present—which is possibly the strongest predictor that it gained’t occur. The explanation well-known folks prefer to go on Dancing With the Stars is that it lets them present themselves off in a constructive gentle with out actually stepping into the drama that obtained them in want of picture rehab within the first place. However the factor about our boy is that he can’t resist the drama—the one approach up for him is down.
The Apprentice
Odds: 2 to 1
If Trump wins the presidential election once more, his fourth or fifth act in workplace will likely be to revive The Apprentice and to make Santos the brand new host. He’ll be sitting within the chair by 2025, after he finishes his brutal authorities takeover of NBC Common. This is among the most secure bets on the board.
Superstar Large Brother
Odds: EVEN
I actually suppose this one will occur. Not straight away. Not throughout his a number of mounting legal investigations. However as soon as Santos is completed up together with his jail sentence, he’ll completely seem on a season of Superstar Large Brother—the place he’ll ideally forge an unimpeachable friendship with fellow contestant Rod Blagojevich as they workforce as much as defeat, I don’t know, a lady who got here in third on a season of Taste of Love. So long as Superstar Large Brother is on the air, there will likely be a house for the wretched D-list convicts of popular culture. That, my buddies, is what America is all about.
